12 Christmas Presents For Someone That You'll Never Ever EVER Bone


For friends who are close enough to give each other presents but not close enough to kiss.

McDonald’s Gift Card – $$$

McDonald's Gift Card - $$$

“We will never go on a date here.”


Poo-Pourri Pre-poop Spray – $9.99

Poo-Pourri Pre-poop Spray - $9.99

Nothing says “stay away from my butt” better than a reminder we all poop.


3-Piece BFF Necklace – $8.99

3-Piece BFF Necklace - $8.99

Just to be clear that you're not only friends, but there is another friend of equal standing.


Mouse Taxidermy Kit – $37

Mouse Taxidermy Kit - $37

This will not bring out romantic feelings.


J Crew Socks – $28

J Crew Socks - $28

Avoid if you suspect a foot fetish.


Sitz Bath – $5.99

Sitz Bath - $5.99

“Aids in relieving the discomfort of perinea conditions such as hemorrhoids, menstrual cramps, bladder or prostate infections!”


Sorry! Board Game – $7.99

Sorry! Board Game - $7.99

Assuming they want to be more than friends, this gets the message across.


Lottery Ticket – $$$

Lottery Ticket - $$$

Only sometimes disappointing!

Ingram Publishing / Getty Images

“The Executioner” Mosquito Swatter – $19.99

"The Executioner" Mosquito Swatter - $19.99

Or any other pseudo-useful present “As Seen On TV.”


A Donation To Charity In Their Name – $$$

A Donation To Charity In Their Name - $$$

It doubles as a holiday gift to yourself in the form of a tax exemption.

Mitrija / Getty Images

BFF Mixtape – $2

BFF Mixtape - $2

Message received loud and clear.

Urs Siedentop / Getty Images

Vitamin D Tablets – $7.59

Vitamin D Tablets - $7.59

Not to be confused with that other D.


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